Tuesday, 8 June 2021

Ghost.Static.1. dance music . [Remix] . transcription

Lean in close to my little record player on the floor so this is what the volume knobs for i listen to dance music


Indications that there's something wrong with our new house trip down the wire twice daily im in


Straight at her head

Dance music

So look I'm 17 years and you're the last best thing I've gotten going BUT then the special secret sickness starts to eat through you what am i supposed to do

No way of knowing so i

follow you down the twisted alleyways find a few cul de sacs of my own there's only 


-sing it-

(the audience joins in, loudly, but muted in the stage mic in the recording)


let me down let me down let me down gently when

the police come to get me 

listening to

d a n c e m u s i c t m g 2 0 0 8

- - -

Hackney Tunnel Change (for two actors one versatile voice)

it is the tunnel between Hackney Downs and Hackney Central. I skip down stairs because I'm going to meet

I'm walking quickly and it's cold and I'm just going to miss the train and my therapist thinks I do this on purpose she thinks I

skip down the stairs because i feel young and i can and it's warm and i feel cool like hot like get me even though it looks like I'm acting like a six-year-old

Walk into this place called a diner the diner the American diner no just the diner and look at - i see - sitting at a booth hasn't seen me yet

my therapist says being seen is also seeing and some people can't bear to look at anyone anymore even themselves that's what she says and across from her flat is now a pub a fucking pub not the diner that's what the pandemic did i guess

I'm walking up the stairs and even though I'm walking up the stairs two at a time because I want to get home, something is heavy in my shoes because I'm going

the way you walk down the platform at hackney central from the tunnel is like it's people look at you and you look at them at these compressed angles I don't think exist anywhere else on the London Transportation Network I see eyes and sightlines and shoulders fuck -

Home is a long walk and a car ride and a bus ride and three train rides and two tube rides and an overground ride and a walk away except right now all the homes i see are on a screen on his lap all lined up thumbnails /and did i ask for no i don't want this/ in a cottage in the middle of the woods in

- i forgot I'd turned my service back on but my phone dings and I smile and the spikes and the weights disappear and i decide as I walk between rays of sun glinting flashing between slats in the walls I'm going to enjoy it because

Winter again, going to a show and the cops two cops walk down the long tunnel - you see them coming the whole way and i clutch hands and we stand up taller and we have beaten them forever forever forever and ever amen and we are unconquerable, we are

it was raining and i am soaked and it's so far from therapy to where we live now and i didn't want therapy i thought I'd learned a final lesson from the ways i could not fit into the infinite world you'd made it's like when its the opposite of when

Looking into the eye of my phone so the screen unlocks so I can see the text that popped up and I smile I smile through my mask and no one can see and I hope everyone can see because I am radiantly happy and for a moment i get a break and I feel like music is my neurons and veins and tendons and again and for a second i am not sorry that even though you are dead

I am so very alive

7 June 2021

- - -

"You know, there's a moment in a Greek tragedy where everybody on the stage realises that they are totally fucked, right? [scattered audience laughter] And it's this moment where everybody thinks they've been acting independently and just deciding what they were going to do. And then--then they all look at each other. And it's this great moment where, you know, Antigone looks at Creon and Creon looks at Antigone and both of them realise it's all going to come to no goddamn good no matter what anybody says."

- Prelude to "The Recognition Scene" at The Mountain Goats concert in Paris (pirate copy on YouTube) 07/02/03

- - -

"Unconditionally yours..."

I Will Never Forget, by Kimya Dawson

- - -

Much love,



  1. Sending, not "all the love" I guess because it hasn't run out, but a lifetime's supply.

    1. Thank you. And the same to you. I like that very much - I might start using it if you don’t mind x

    2. Not at all! I'm definitely going to re-use it x