Monday, 18 October 2021

V Short Memorial Update

Hello. I hope this Monday morning (or when and wherever you are) is treating you with some grace and breathing room.

Thank you to those of you who have responded to my post and/or messages about a memorial service for Chris. I've made a provisional decision, but there is still plenty of time to send me thoughts and requests at CGEstate@griffyngilligan.com

This week, I'll be starting preparations on a small gathering for a moment of community and solidarity between those Chris left behind, for any who might wish to attend.

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My last update on Chris's death:

The final coroner's inquest hearing into Chris's death has now been completed, establishing the sole cause of his death as premeditated suicide in the early morning of 1 June 2021 in North East London.

I will not be sharing the details or any further circumstances around his death publicly, nor will I field any press enquiries regarding details of his death.

To friends and close colleagues (at any point in Chris's life):

For some, knowing the details around a death like this is an important part of being able to grieve properly. If you knew Chris personally, please feel free to contact me at the above email and we can arrange a private conversation. A few folks have already asked for this, and we've had some solid conversations. I don't mind the request, and will be careful to only undertake the conversation if I feel ready & supported to do so.

To any interested press:

Now that the coroner's hearing is over, this is the most appropriate time to publish an obituary, if that is something you would still like to do.

To be clear, I am not asking for one. I am simply aware that some publications were considering an obituary or memorial-style article at the time of Chris's death, and graciously responded for my request at the time to put that on hold. 

Journalists who were in touch around June/July are welcome to get in touch again if that's something you would still like to do and might like to discuss with me.

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Hope that's clear.

Looking forward to my next blog post, which will finally be back to what this space was for - weird work I've quietly doing that has some ratio of animals, anarchy, access, & AM frequencies.

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In care & solidarity always,

Griffyn

Thursday, 7 October 2021

Memorial - CG

Hello! Hi to dear friends, colleagues, and those of you who knew Chris and whom I haven't yet had the pleasure to meet.


Since Chris's death four months ago, I have been speaking with some mutual friends and reflecting myself on the best options for any sort of gathering or memorial.


My goal was always to hold an event that offers a chance to spend time in person with others who knew Chris and want to share their feelings on his life and death. One that, in having it, offers an opportunity for a bit of closure, a moment of coming together. Not to celebrate him or ritualise/bolster his legacy. Simply to acknowledge that for many people, his presence and work did affect their lives in strong and complex ways, and for some it might be helpful to have an event to mark that in some way.


 My first priority, however, is to not do or host anything that might cause more pain. And after hearing from people over the last few months, that's why I'm writing this question & invitation.


The time elapsed since his death has mostly been to give people time to process a flood of information about his life and death, without having an event people might have felt pressured or rushed to attend. It is also in keeping with my own family traditions regarding the distance between a funeral and a memorial service, which is held in order to allow for private grief, seeking out more intimate conversations, and perusing personal modes of reflection.


I know that many, many moments of private reflection and conversations have happened between hundreds of people - a number of whom I don't know and/or have no way to contact directly. I would not want to exclude anyone simply because they knew Chris at a time I did nor or because (due to the seizure of Chris's technology and accounts) I have no way to reach them.


For some, I understand that the very presence of any gathering might feel painful - even if they opted not to attend. I know some others find it painful that there has not been enough ceremony around his death, nor did K raise this question quickly enough.


Some close friends have very kindly tried to give me a better picture of how conversations and sentiments have been shifting the last few months. And I am very glad and comforted that it seems many people who knew Chris have been able to find ways to connect to mutual friends and colleagues over the last few months, especially during a pandemic.


In the end, I've decided that the best I can offer is this:


I am inviting anyone who would like to share their thoughts or requests with me about a memorial gathering (or lack thereof) to contact me at this email address:


CGEstate@griffyngilligan.com


If you’d prefer to have an audio/video/text conversation rather than write an email, please write this account and I’ll arrange something with you ASAP.


I created this address specifically for thoughts about Chris, people who want to connect or ask me questions about his life & death, business communications relating to his estate, and anyone who has input on his memorial. 


That's in part for my own mental health and in part so that I hope you feel more welcome to share your feelings if you'd like - knowing you aren't intruding on my work or personal inbox/headspace.


Please share this with anyone who you know who may not be aware of/checking my blog space or Twitter. Again, I could send out a mass e-mail, but I would certainly miss people and also would probably upset some people who wish to be done thinking about CG. My hope is that by having this invitation in a public space, people can choose to engage with it - or with a link sent to them by a friend - or ignore it entirely.


That being said, I will ask that people with only aggressive/judgmental things to say - especially anyone who did not know Chris - not just use this address as a comments section. I can't do any more than I have done to make things right in the world and (though it is wild to me I have to say this) using me as a target for your fury at him won't do anyone any good. Who knows - some folks might do anyway, and I'll still be fine. After all the things I've been told and sent the last few months, though, I felt it was worth trying the disclaimer.


Thank you all for reading.


Thank you to those of you who have reached out and let me know your feelings over time - whether or not they've changed.


Thank you to everyone who has been gentle & patient with me as we all have navigated all this - during a very strange time in the world itself - together & apart.


In solidarity and grief,

Griffyn